The Comox Half Marathon

It's done.  I did it.  I ran and completed a half marathon.  13.1 miles.  21.1 kms.  I'm so damn glad that's over with.

Right now, as I sit here on the couch watching the Canucks try and tie up the game, with my very tight, sore legs, all I can think about it how awesome it is to be sitting on this couch.  I'm not out running right now as per my usual Monday night routine.  Tomorrow I will not be waking up at 6:00 to get to CrossFit.  I have declared the next two weeks of my life run free.  I'm giving myself two weeks recovery.  I will only do whatever physical exercise I feel like, whatever seems interesting to me.  The only thing "planned" is my last workout at my current CrossFit box Thursday morning and a potential hike of Mt Fin on Saturday morning.

But let's talk about the half.

Results

I'm not going to sugarcoat things.  I am slightly disappointed with my results.  I had a goal time of a sub-2 hour half.  Was it a lofty goal? Yes.  Was it attainable? Yes.  Did life get in the way? Most definitely.  I ran the half in 2 hours and 5 minutes, and those 5 minutes will haunt me for a while.  I'm not sure what this says about my frame of mind leading up, during, and now after the run.  All I know is I wanted that goal and I missed it.  Does it hurt that Eric was able to beat me by 3 mins after not running for the last 2 weeks leading up to the half after being incredibly sick?  Of course it does.

All I can say is I didn't want it bad enough.  The training wasn't there.  I didn't do the speed work I needed to do in order to maintain a 5:30/km pace that I needed.  Life got in the way and my motivation waned as the race got nearer.  Did I burn myself out? Maybe.  Did CrossFit distract me from my running goal? Probably.  Am I just down because my body is burnt out and damaged right now?  Definitely.

Race day was great.  Everything went according to plan.  The nutrition was there.  I gained 5 pounds in carbs and water over the week.  I paced myself to start out.  The gel and water plan went well.  The weather was beautiful.  Eric kept pace with me for 15 kms, and after that left me in the dust.  I should have stuck with him.  He feels bad because he didn't push me.  But we hadn't trained together, he doesn't know what's going on in my mind at that particular time... I told him to go and he went.  Good for him.

Mentally I wasn't ready.  My second race and I ran 21.1 kms.  I should be proud.  And deep down I am.  Maybe as my body starts to heal, I will feel better.  But right now all I feel is that I didn't give it my best.  I gave it my all... but not my best.  Yet again, I was relying on other people to provide motivation.  Why can't I find it in myself?

I guess I'm a team sport kinda gal. 

A big thank you to everyone for their kind words and thoughts on Sunday (and for these past 14 months really).  Thank you to Chris and Wendy for being there for me when I needed them on the bridge - you two are shining examples of why I love CrossFit so much.  Thank you to Eric for sharing this race with me - you made the race go by so quickly.  Thank you to Dani for being so supportive over this whole process and especially on Sunday for driving (and letting me drive when I couldn't handle being a passenger anymore) and being a "bag check".  Thanks to Mom and Dad for being my biggest fans and feeding/fueling me so well this weekend.  Finally, thank you Nick - for teaching me to run.

Thanks Wendy, we won't talk about the other pic you snapped ;)

Random Tuesday off...

A day of work :).  A massage :).  And a passed Selection Interview.  It's a good day.

First off.. the Selection Interview.  Last Tuesday, I got a phone call to schedule this interview that I've been waiting to complete since I passed the PARE back in November.  I had been expecting to have to travel to Vancouver for this interview, so when the interviewer suggested meeting at Westshore RCMP the following Tuesday, I was happy to oblige.  I can't go into too much detail about the interview, but it was mainly "Describe a time when you showed (this particular skill or attribute)".  Everyone has done them, no one likes them.  I passed the interview, I'm not exactly happy with my performance, but it's done.  And I learned some things, and I'll be better prepared next time around.  So now, it's more hurry up and wait.  Up next is the Suitability / Reliability Interview and Polygraph Examination.  Or the lie detector test.  Oh goodie ;),

So right now I'm operating on the same assumption that I was before.  I will move home to CR in a couple of weeks and continue my application process from there.  I expect to have the next step by the end of April or so and after that is the field investigation, where the RCMP investigates my background, friends and family, and after that there's a battery of medical/dental and psychological exams to pass.  Somewhere in there I will have to pass the PARE again, so needless to say I need to keep my fitness up.

I have the half-marathon this Sunday.  Now that this interview is over and passed, I can re-focus on the run this weekend.  I just came back from a massage, my muscles are well-hydrated and limber and ready for this.  My RMT commented on the fact that my leg muscles (which I had her focus on) were feeling good and that I have been doing everything right.  So that was good to hear.  I've been slacking on the running over the past few days, read: I haven't ran or done anything since Sat.  Saturday's run sucked.  My mind was ready, but my body was not.  It was tired.  I still think that it was tired from my CrossFit workout on Thurs.  So I took Sunday off, and then didn't run Monday because of the weather (let's face it I was looking for an excuse), and today I wanted to get a massage.  So tomorrow is back at it for a short 30 mins, Friday 30 mins and a quick 20 min on Saturday.  Not enough to tire me out, just enough to get the blood going.  Meanwhile it's rice and pasta for me all week :).

Once the half marathon is over, I can focus on packing up my life here in Victoria and getting organized to move home to CR.  My last 2 weeks here in Victoria are already filling up with dinners and lunches and sleepovers with friends.  Before I know it, I will be home and working at the golf course.  My body is so ready to be out of a desk chair for 8 hour days and be on my feet running around.

I'm off to hang out with Derek a bit, he'll be moving over to Vancouver with a buddy, so our days as roommates are numbered :(.  And tonight I'll be heading out to see John Carter with a friend.  Gotta get my first 3D IMAX experience in before I leave.  Off to chill for a bit... I feel like I've earned it.

Change is in the air

Again I have been a delinquent blogger.  At least I have a defence this time.  Earlier this week I decided to move home.  And it's taken until now to talk to everyone I wanted to before I announced it via some kind of social media.  It's been a long week.  But now that the decision has been made I am excited.  So very excited.  Mainly because I convinced the golf course I used to work at to take me back.  As of April 1st, I'll be back to harassing the golfers and members that I used to work with 2 years ago.  I will be moving home to pay less rent and to spend more time with my family before an invite to Depot occurs (still no word on that front).  I really am looking forward to the summer.  I will miss everyone I work with here in Victoria, not to mention the close friend I have here, but I am looking forward to heading home and playing hockey and/or slo-pitch in my home town again.

The next month or so will be a whirlwind... my first half-marathon, packing up shop and saying my goodbyes to co-workers that I've known for the last 2.5 years.  It's going to be a stressful and emotional month.  I am looking forward to it :)  The next month is going to be about a lot of lasts here in Victoria, some good, some bad. 

So that's where I am these days.  Just finished up the hard work in the training for the half-marathon in 2 weeks.  From here on out its 20-30 min runs with a 60 min run next weekend.  Taper time baby :)!  Hoping to get a few massages in while I still have my medical ;)... lol.

I'm hoping I can continue CrossFitting after the move.  The nearest box is a half hour drive away.  Not certain if I'm into that kind of commitment or not, but we'll have to see.  I do enjoy the workout, so I'm sure I'll figure out a way.

Off to drop Derek off at work, and figure out what to do for dinner.  :)

How to know you are...

an athlete?

- you get irrationally happy when you find your lacrosse ball in your purse that you thought you left at work.
- you put protein powder in your pancake mix, and can't figure out why your roommate/brother is upset.
- you eat every two hours, or your stomach gets angry.
- your week consists of scheduling your workouts, and everything else around them.
- you wish you could afford a massage every week.
- you realize you are not as much of a procrastinator anymore, because there is no "I'll do it later" when later means skipping workouts.
- you spend hours on Pinterest, "pinning" motivational pictures.
- you feel like you're in the bathroom, peeing, every 20 minutes because you drink so much water.
- you spend waaaay too much on groceries to fuel your workouts and your recovery.

a runner?

- said lacrosse ball means you can run AND CrossFit 6 days a week.
- it takes you over a year to realize you stare at your feet when you run.
- you wear compression socks around the house, and wish you could figure out a way to wear them to work.
- you still run 20 kms for your recovery week.
- you wish there were more hours in the day to stretch and foam roll.
- you realize that the half marathon you're training for is totally obtainable, but that the more work you do now, the less it'll suck on race day.
- you can't believe you've gone from couch to half marathon in 14 months.
- you state your goals as sub-(insert time here).

a hockey player?

- you wear hockey gear that fit 100 pounds ago because you're too cheap to replace them, but can't NOT play.
- you pay $15/game to spare on a team who has players on it that are twice your age, yet have played hockey for as little as one year.
- you officiate ('nuff said).
- when there is nothing on TV, you usually look for a hockey game to watch... and you don't care who is playing.

a CrossFitter?

- you know what HSPU, C&J, Snatch and OHS mean, and can't wait to work up to your max on each.
- you really do warm up harder than most people workout... and secretly want the t-shirt
- you know who Fran, Grace and Annie are... even if you haven't met them, yet.
- you get your ass handed to you in a workout and still feel like a badass when you leave the box.
- you know what box means.
- people ask you what CrossFit is, and you downplay it so you don't seem like such a wacko.
- you can't wait for your half marathon to be over so you can start CrossFitting more often.

and finally,

a blogger?

- when you write most of this blog post in your head while rolling around on the floor on the aforementioned lacrosse ball.

:)

what 100 pounds means to me

Source: health-girl.tumblr.com via Laura on Pinterest

How much do you have to lose to change your life forever?

Lately I've been focused on pushing myself in my workouts, be it CrossFit or half marathon training.  It's easy to get lost in the numbers, faster pacing, more reps, and hard work.  Just in case you guys are wondering if I actually ever have a "fun" workout... I have hockey on the agenda for tonight. :)  

Some times lost in all of that is the fact that I've lost 100 pounds, and changed how I live my life and will live the rest of my life.  Some things have changed, some things haven't... somethings I expected, some things I didn't.

from this

to this 

and keeping it off.  

What has stayed the same?

- my fundamental personality.  Down to my very being, I am still me.  Silly, goofy, crazy, loyal to a fault, me.  I love my friends, co-workers and family just as much now as I did before.

- my relationship status.  I am still single.  I imagine I will be until I decide that I should actually put myself out there and meet some new people (guys... )

- I still need me time.  My life can be so busy sometimes, and the only way I can deal is if I have time to myself where I am not responsible for anything but doing something that I enjoy to do.  If I don't get that time, I get lazy and grumpy.

- I still love to sleep.  My sleeping has gotten more consistent with the good food and good exercise, however my love for it stays the same :).

- I still need reassurance.  At the end of the day I still feel the urge to feel important and special to someone.  I believe everyone needs to feel important to someone else.  I have a lot of people in my life that I am important to and in turn are important to me.  I would like to find someone who I am the most important to.  If that's selfish, then so be it.  My uncle once told me if you can't be selfish about who you love, then what can you be selfish about?

What has changed?

- my body (obviously).  I am now a size 6 (or 7 or 8 depending on what store I am in) and I like that, since it's my favourite number.

- my self-esteem.  Again, this seems obvious.  The more you like what you see in the mirror, the better you feel.  Anyone who says looks aren't everything, are lying to themselves.

- the way I see the world.  I used to walk around and sympathize with everyone.  To me, everyone was fighting their own battles and if they were overweight like me... I'd cut them some slack.  Now, no way.  I've been there, I did it... you can too!  You don't have to like exercise, you don't have to hate food... get out and do it.  Eat the right amount of calories and move your body.  It is as simple as that.  Nothing or no one will do it for you.

- Food.  I eat waaaaaaaaaaay more now than I ever did when I was fat.  It's just better, more nutrient rich food.  I also enjoy food a lot more.  I'm trying my best these days to Eat Clean.  In a perfect world we would only eat those things that are whole, and have never seen the inside of a plant.  I strive everyday to cut out processed crap out of my diet... the only reason I eat things that come in packaging is because I am lazy.  On the brighter side... I get to EAT MORE!  Isn't that reason unto itself to build a little muscle and workout all the time?

These are just some of the things about myself that I've noticed over the last year and a half.  So much has changed in my day-to-day life, and yet... it feels so right.  I live my life for myself.  

And right now it's not perfect, it probably never will be.  But I'm happy with where I am.  And how many people can say that... and mean it?

Where's my head at?

I feel like I haven't been around much lately, much less have enough time to blog regularly.  The truth is, I haven't even attempted to write a post lately.  I don't know why.  Is it because I'm too busy?  Am I too tired at the end of the day?  It seems like nothing has changed lately... so where is the motivation?

CrossFit remains challenging, as it should be if you're doing it right.  I am getting stronger... this I know.  Nick commented to me the other week that I was looking "stockier".  Then he immediately started backpedaling, he's knows better than to call a female stocky.  But I know what he's talking about.  My shoulders are starting to broaden a bit.  Which is nice to see as it means the pull ups and full range of motion push ups will start to come a little easier.  They say in CrossFit nothing gets easier, you just get better.  I was actually pretty happy with myself, on Tuesday I was messing around with some push ups from my feet again... and I didn't find it too difficult to throw down a couple of full range of motion push ups (yes, a couple being 2... lol).  I look forward to later on next month when I'm hoping to start WODing 3 times a week.

March 18th seems so close.  So close to running for 20+ kilometers.  And it still feels so far away.  My last long run was last Saturday, I ran for about 83 minutes for just under 15 kms.  So really, what's 5 more, right? ;) In reality it's not far off.  Nick has been busy writing me up a training plan for the next 5.5 weeks and on Friday I'm going to stop in at Penninsula Runners (where he's been picking up shifts since the start of the new year) and look at some mid run fueling options.  He's got some of his favourites, and since I've never tried to fuel at all during a run, I figure it's a good place to start.  Typically something like a GU gel is taken in around the 40 or 50 minute mark so you don't hit the wall, or bonk and miss your goal time/pace.  So after my recovery week this week (ie, half the distance I've been running lately) I'll start seeing what my body wants for my 90 min and longer runs.  I'm still shooting for a sub-2 half marathon.  I really need to get working on some strength runs, hills and speed intervals.  Learn to embrace the suck.  I just need to remember, Earn the Serge (which I'm seriously considering writing on my hand for race day) and to keep reminding myself I get to have some more ink if I reach my goal :)!

I got a phone call last week from the RCMP, from a Constable in the recruiting department.  He was just following up on my application, wanted to discuss some of my answers and ask a few more questions.  He must have liked what he heard because he called me back within the hour and told me he was okaying my application to move on up to his Supervisor and that I would be put in queue to schedule an interview.  So back to more patient waiting.

Nothing else really new.  I'm feeling alright with life these days.  Sure I'd like to have a little more money (have you heard, Victoria has a millionaire out there somewhere who hasn't claimed the big prize yet... sadly it's not our office pool), but other than that, things are pretty good.  The weather is starting to look up, runs after work aren't so dreary anymore.  My nutrition has been alright.  I'm hoping to tighten it up a little bit over the next 6 weeks or so, only feeding my body the fuel it needs to perform.  I've recently starting taking an Omega-3 supplement, and I'll be happy when my body gets used to taking that.  Let's just say the last 3 or 4 runs have either been cut short or interrupted by bathroom breaks.

Hopefully this post means I'm back into the blogging swing of things.  I have a post ruminating around about a comparison between 100 pounds ago and now.  I have to figure it out... stay tuned.

Jeopardy is on :)! And then it's shower time.  Night all!

Back to regularly scheduled programming...

Thanks everyone, for letting me rant a bit last post.  I needed to get it off my chest, so I could talk about the other things happening, the less intense, happier things.  And now I can :).

Apparently I'm a whiner.  Let me explain.  When I'm sore, I feel the urge to share this with everyone.  I think I do it to boast.  It's not just with CrossFit.  I've whined after long runs, I've whined after a workout with Nick, I've whined after hockey.  I think it's just my way of saying... "Hi, I completed a kickass workout and I want the world to know about it".  I guess to me, whining is better than bragging.

The WOD on Thursday was 5 rounds for time of 10 pull ups, and 10 burpies.  I HATE BURPIES!  I feel badass when I do a pull up, even when it's assisted with the biggest, thickest band they have.  I'm still sore... it's Sunday!  I didn't necessarily enjoy the WOD.  It sucked pretty good.  I'm usually good at working through the suck, as it were.  The burpies were my undoing.  They suck, they suck the life out of your arms (which is not a good things when you're trying to do pull ups as well) and they suck the co-ordination right out of my body.  I do NOT feel like an athlete doing burpies... lol.  Boo!  Anyway, I managed to work on some double unders on Thursday as well.  Actually managed to succeed in passing the skipping rope twice under my feet on a single jump for a good pattern of time.  I was alternating double-single for a while, and getting the rhythm down, so now a little more work and I should be able to take out the single jump.

Half-marathon training is ramping up a bit.  Nick has told me to add a 4th run in during my week.  I've had a pretty crazy week, but if I manage to get my long run in today (ie, the wind dies down a bit so I don't go crazy) I'll have managed it.  The runs have been interesting this week to say the least.  Victoria got a boatload of snow on Weds.  So my run turned into a tempo run on the treadmill.  I hate treadmills.  I especially hate tempo runs on the treadmill.  Even though it's probably the easiest way of doing a tempo run, being able to manage your pace so easily.  For Depot I have to be able to run a 8:00min mile for at least 3 miles.  That's about a 4:58/km place.  I've been consistently running at around a 5:30 lately.  Nick had me running a 5:10ish in the summer, and I managed that pace for my 8k race.  It should be easy enough to shave the extra few seconds off my pace... but it'll take some hard work, and a little "suck".  Tempo runs are about training your body to run at an uncomfortable pace and to keep it up.  Yuck.  And the "run" on friday was more of a "why are we out here running in slush???"  But it was kind of fun.

Megs, Dani and I were in Vancouver yesterday for a run to Ikea and some wedding dress shopping.  Ikea rocked, less than $200 for a tonne of stuff.  3-drawer dresser, frying pan, rugs, knives, pants hangers, candles, picture frames... among other things.  We need an Ikea on the island!  Then off to Bryan's bridal in Brentwood... had some fun, narrowed down the selection yet again.  We're getting closer!  Found a killer clearance sale at Ricki's - a nice sweater and a warm winter jacket! Off to Lululemon Outlet... $10 shorts!!!!!!!!!!!!  The most expensive thing I bought yesterday there, was a hand-held water bottle for running!  It was a spur of the moment decision to head there, and we are ALL glad we did :).  I also got mistaken for an employee while I was there... I'm sure it had nothing to do with the 3 lulu garments I was wearing yesterday.  Comfy clothes for travel :)!  Then we were off to another bridal store and back to the ferry.  All-in-all a successful day trip to Van.

I need sustenance, and to get ready for today.  Bridal Fair! And a 80 min run.  Wish me luck! :)